Christmas in Kettle Falls

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little drummer boy

little drummer boy, originally uploaded by Ken Reppart.

While our little drummer boy was at preschool, MP and I went out to breakfast, did some Christmas shopping and actually had conversations without being interrupted! It was fabulous.

In the bathroom with Louis

we have some of our best chats. He's pooping (he likes the company) and his stream of consciousness conversations are some of MP's and my favorites.

Today he said, "Kim can't pregnant herself. No, she can't put herself inside her belly. Her belly is attached to her." I guess that's about as deep as it gets: humans cannot give birth to themselves. Figuratively, perhaps, but not literally!

We are enjoying our time together. Preschool is going very well. It's awesome!

Preschool transitions......

have been the story of my life for weeks now. I am exhausted, exhilarated, anxious, happy, worried, sad, glad, proud, tired and in love all at once. My heart and brain are working overtime through this adjustment.

I have felt very isolated from my friends during this time. I have been preoccupied with making positive family changes and I haven't been able to TALK about any of it because L is always with me! Many of my friends would ask how it's going and I would have to give a non-answer because I didn't want to speak freely about how frustrated or worried or whatever I was feeling in front of L. Thanks for all of your support through this change. I know I didn't see it coming and I still can't believe we are out of co-op and onto private school. I hardly let myself think of the 12 hours per week I will have TO MYSELF. Speaking of that, I may be doing more contract legal work again soon. Good timing! But, I am getting ahead of myself here.........

So, what precipitated this sea change? Well, L has been very volatile, aggressive and unhappy this fall and our preschool was not working out for him, so I made a huge change and we switched preschools. After attending with him for the first couple of weeks I decided he wouldn't really engage fully with the other kids and activities unless I wasn't there (he clung by my side constantly while I was there and he would only engage if I watched or participated myself).

I hardly slept last night because today was the day we were pushing it, dropping him off, and I wouldn't be called back, even if he cried for me. As today approached I knew in my heart he could be happy there without me, but I doubted my judgment that he was truly ready. I vacillated between confidence and doubt minute by minute. Poor MP! He had to hear ad naseum all of my rationales for all of my opposing ideas. He has been extremely supportive through this change.

L cried on and off throughout the morning as we got ready for our day. He would cry and say he didn't want to go and we would remind him that he was capable and we knew he could do it. We used encouragement and explanations, telling him it would be hard, but his feelings would change eventually and that with time, it would get easier. Our mantra was "we know you can do this, L. We believe in you and we wouldn't do this if we didn't think you were ready." Throughout the morning he would stop crying very quickly and move on--I thought this was a good sign.

I mean it all makes sense: Of course he is sad--he hasn't ever been away from us except to stay with close friends for a few hours. Of course he feels strong feelings that scare him--it's normal to want to be with your mom (especially when your mom is wonderful ME). All of the reasons make sense, but my heart still ached and my chest felt tight and I was on the verge of tears (I have been extra emotional for weeks). I believe I did very well and hid my ambivalence quite nicely. Because, deep down I am not ambivalent. I am very ready for a break from him. I am confident that he will grow very capable and independent IF WE GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO BE ON HIS OWN. Deep down I understand that we rob our kids of feeling capable if we do difficult things for them. Now, a little voice in my head kept saying, "what if this all turns out to be a huge mistake...think how bad you will feel that you put him through something he wasn't ready for." That little voice is quieter now!

MP kept telling me that we won't know if he is capable unless we give it a whirl. So, we took him together and we dropped him off. MP walked to work from there and I drove to C's school to volunteer. They had enough volunteers today, so I came home and was extremely productive for two hours: dishes, vacuuming, laundry, phone calls, email, walked Abbey the dog, breathed in and out, you know, the regular stuff! I even locked myself out of the house when I took the compost out. Oops! Adrenaline rush! But, I found my hide-a-key and made it back inside with time to spare before having to pick L up.

He was just fine when I picked him up. He had been very upset, screaming and crying, on and off throughout his time there, but he came out of it each time and calmed down for significant periods of time. The teachers gave him a digital alarm to put in his pocket, set to the time when I would return: brilliant! It worked. He did it! I did it! He has been extremely pleasant all day since then and I can tell he knows he did it, by himself, without me there! What an accomplishment! Especially for L, who usually gives up at the first slight irritation or obstacle. It's his temperament to be impatient and we are working on it. I think this success today will build his confidence in his abilities quite nicely. He even told me liked one of the kids--Zoe--and those of you who know L know that he typically only talks about who he doesn't like. Whew!

CIDER PRESS IN KETTLE FALLS

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Amy and Perry came to visit...

....and they brought their kids! The five kids played hard all weekend long. It was a fabulous visit.

In our usual style we worked up quite a petri dish around here. Steph had a stomach bug (poor thing), so she laid low the last day of the visit. It caught up with L later on in the week. An interesting note about L when he is sick: he gets really mellow and sweet and compliant. He is calm, reasonable, and doesn't complain about anything. It's a real treat. I feel bad for him when he is sick, yet I get such a nice break because his disposition shifts. His usual cantankerous self full of vim and vigor is replaced with a slightly reticent, "okay, whatever you say, Mom" little guy. I think I will have to sneak a little arsenic into his milk. Just a little.

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L has been wanting a leotard

So we went to Value Village and he got a green one with black paw prints all over it. He is so very excited to be in gymnastics now, too. He will not wear the shorts I got for him over the leo. It is what it is: he is not budging and I am not pushing it. He is delighted with his new leo.

L put on some boxing gloves and hit the ring with Grandpa S.
He absolutely loved it...I refuse to consider the fact that he may someday enjoy boxing because I have never enjoyed boxing as a spectator sport or a pastime. However, with humongous padded gloves and headgear like this, it's really a different type of "boxing." The voices you hear during this video are my mother, father, aunt and uncle.

Air guitar, anyone?

louis, originally uploaded by Ken Reppart.

Jumpin' June Bugs

chloe, originally uploaded by Ken Reppart.

Relatives from Midland, Texas

We hosted my father and mother, my mother's brother and his wife and my sister for the weekend.

L refused to join the picture. He was too tired, so MP and he stayed inside and watched while our neighbor took this group picture of us.

My uncle and aunt hadn't been here since 1982, so we enjoyed showing them Spokane...Riverfront Park, Manito Park, and of course, the downtown library.

The English Garden in Manito

The colors are peaking right now in Duncan Garden.

A few of us went to Coeur d'Alene Lake...

It was
AMALIA
JODY
SARAH
JENNIFER
BETH & MAGGIE.
We spent the night at Jennifer's cabin in Coeur d'Alene. Needless to say, there wasn't a lot of sleeping...it was a blast. Moonlight skinny dipping and all.

I am so grateful for these women in my life, here in Spokane.

Now that Louis's nighttime parenting needs are minimal to nonexistent, I can come and go as I please at all hours of the day. Yay for me! It was such a fun time. Here's to many more great times with fabulous friends!

Today was the 1st day of 1st grade...

Today C wore the locket we gave her last year on her first day of Kindergarten. It has a picture of me and a picture of MP in it. She had a great first day.
Her favorite part was music; her least favorite part was "second recess because it was too hot outside."

They have three recesses. She did say that the day was too long, though. Last year she was at school for 2 1/2 hours; this year she is there 6 hours. It's an adjustment (for all of us!).

Skateboard

He has been begging for a skateboard, so we finally drove out to Target and got one! He likes wheels, that's for sure. He practices skateboarding several times every day.

He learned to pedal on his bike (with training wheels) a couple of weeks ago. He didn't know how to brake at first so he would tip the bike over to stop. Crashing doesn't bother him at all. He crashes, hops up and assures us "I'm otay." He gets back on the bike and repeats it all over again. He did learn to brake a bit better in the last week or so...

Picking summer apples in Kettle Falls

Sweet, tart and delicious. Lodi summer apples at the Aldous-Worley's. This is the orchard I worked in for 6 summers in my youth.

Garden

These squash plants from Carey have huge leaves. I have never seen such foliage. Our greens and peas are done; we are currently enjoying squash, basil, cilantro, and soon, tomatoes. Yum.

mmcl January 2007

mmcl, originally uploaded by Ken Reppart.

C's tea set

chloe's tea set, originally uploaded by Ken Reppart.

A favorite picture of C from January 2007.

Little Boy L

louis pond, originally uploaded by Ken Reppart.

A picture from October 2, 2005. Little baby L. Luisito as we called him then...what a sweetie.

After the day I have had with him today, it's nice to think of him as a sweet baby and not a defiant three year old.

I had a special weekend with old friends...

Shanti and Winter and I grew up together in Kettle Falls. We were inseparable! I met them when I was nine years old...they had already been family friends for years at that point. We have stayed in touch over the years in a sporadic fashion. A wedding brought us all to Kettle Falls last weekend and we had such a nice time catching up.

We took a 9 day trip to the Seattle area...

...beginning with two nights with Repparts and a trip to the zoo. When we lived in Seattle we had a yearly pass to the zoo and acquarium. So, C has been to the zoo from the time she was five months old. She used to stare at all of the leaves and foliage. She loved Woodland Park Zoo. L, on the other hand, has grown up in Spokane, so this was his first visit to the zoo (that he remembers...he went to the zoo in infancy, but that was before his love of tigers).

The Ferry ride from Edmonds to Kingston

Then on to the ocean and 3 nights in Kalaloch

We met my parents and camped for three nights in a fabulous campground right on the ocean. Our campsite was overlooking the water and all we could hear was the sound of the waves crashing in on shore. It was cold in the mornings and evenings, but the sun burned brightly during the days. So we hiked up the beach a couple of miles and hung out by ourselves for several hours each afternoon. C and L absolutely loved the sand, waves, rocks, sticks, logs, streams, and FUN that the beach offers. C said to me several times: "Mom, this is really really fun." She genuinely enjoyed herself and so did L. There were challenges--L kept asking, "Where's the house? I want to go inside. Let's go inside the house. Where is it?" He didn't grasp the idea of camping right away. But, once he understood we were sleeping outside and eating outside and spending the night and day outside, as well as playing outside, he settled into camping.